The Circle

abandofbrothers is essentially a Circle of men.

A Circle is a shape that is found repeatedly throughout the natural world, and it is a symbol of perfection. We recreate this perfect shape when we join others to form a Circle. Sitting in a Circle allows us experience each other as equals. Each person is the same distance apart from the next participant, and no one is seated higher than or stands apart from others in a Circle. From tribal Circles to the mythical round table of King Arthur, the Circle has been the shape adopted by gatherings throughout history. There are many reasons for why a gathering of young men in a Circle is powerful.

• The work of abandofbrothers is convened in Circles
• In a Circle all are equal and every perspective is different.
• In a Circle I am seen, heard, respected and related to.
• The Circle is a place I can belong. It is a profound learning arena.
• In the Circle we learn to trust that others will hear us and respect us when we tell our truth and we learn to listen respectfully when others tell us their truth.

The purpose of the Circle is to give and receive acceptance and support; to create a safe non-judgmental space in which we can open our hearts and move through our fears.

The Circle helps us become accountable for our actions and behaviour and be aware of and take responsibility for our judgments, instead of just projecting them on to others.

The Circle also helps us to hold a compassionate place for ourselves in which we can come to greater acceptance of all parts of ourselves.

When the Circle works best, all feel safe in expressing the thoughts and feelings which are heavy on their hearts. They can do this because they know that no one is going to interrupt them or try to fix them.

Any person who is willing to accept the guidelines can participate in the Circle.

Guidelines

• I will make “I” statements rather than “You” statements. I will take responsibility for my own experiences and respect the experience of others.
• I am here to share from my heart and be honest about what I am thinking and feeling.
• I will not interrupt anyone else. I will give the man speaking our undivided attention.
• I will not engage in cross talk.
• I will be willing take 20 seconds in silence to acknowledge each man’s sharing.
• I will take responsibility for any emotions and not hide my hurt or angry feelings.
•  I will share them honestly, without trying to make others responsible for how I feel.
• I will stay in the present moment.
• I will not bring up the past or future, unless they are happening for me here and now.
• I will keep everything that’s said in the Circle confidential.